My son's ex seems unsure about having ended their relationship. Isn't that a bit warped?

THE DILEMMA My 23-year-old son's girlfriend recently ended their two-year relationship. She was quite cruel during the break-up, insisting that he not contact her for two weeks while she made up her mind. When she told him it was over, he was devastated. He went through weeks of torment – sobbing, coming home from work a few times. But he's much stronger now. A female friend of his came around recently to take him out, and afterwards his ex texted him to say they'd been spotted and to ask if he had a new girlfriend. She felt confused and jealous. He thought there might be a chance to get back together, but now he realises she doesn't know what she wants. I'm sympathetic towards his ex – she's quiet and shy – but isn't it a bit warped to split up with someone then want them to provide emotional support for your ensuing doubts?

.....

There's no right way to slip up, but we would say "trying to avoid further harm!" But the point is people need to learn how to take care of their pain and frustration, instead of blaming the girl not being nice to the son. Of cause the girl has her issue to deal with, but it's not the matter that you can control.

Let your son have a chance to handle complicated human relationship, become a grown up. If the mother becomes so active, it will create conflicts between the mom-and-son, or it will encourage the dependence of the son.

If these are not the preferred outcome, then hand off! Showing your support but not influence! And respect the son as a grown up!

- Lilac