親密關係 n 性 心理諮詢

Intimacy & Sex can become very complicated when they tangle with unmatched expectation!
If you want to improve your relationship with the loved one
If you have something bothering you

Don't let it destroy your relationship, your self-esteem and others. This blog is also welcome same-sex couple.

Sunday 18 March 2012

好消息! 定期有性高潮的人有福了

在中國常說"性福",真是有福了。
首先,定期有性高潮可以減壓,減少心臟病,乳癌及前列腺癌。其次,以每星期有兩次或以上的性高潮和每月少於一次,死亡率還可減低百份之五十呢!

Lilac Kamiya

原文
Are there other nonsexual health benefits to be derived from orgasm? Affirmative, say Rutgers University sex researchers Barry Komisaruk and Beverly Whipple. Their readable and comprehensive The Science of Orgasm says that people who have regular orgasms seem to have less stress and enjoy lower rates of heart disease, breast cancer, prostate cancer, and endometriosis.

They also appear to live longer. British researcher G. Davey Smith and two colleagues calculated that over a span of ten years the risk of death among men who had two or more orgasms a week was 50 percent lower than among those who had them less than once a month. (Obviously, the researchers had to control for factors like social class, smoking, and age.) Catholic priests, as compared with their noncelibate Protestant counterparts, have higher rates of early death. This last bit was reported—though without a source—in a 1990 Sports Medicine article entitled "The Sexual Response as Exercise."

Tuesday 27 September 2011

Simply love

You just need to hold hands to connect.

The hands show your love, care and support.

Can we keep our love simple?

Best Regards,

Lilac

Ps. I was very busy in the last month, things are getting better. Hopefully, there more post coming. Cheers!

Friday 5 August 2011

Porn and Rape: The Debate Continues

Porn tends to stereotype female position in a male-female relationship with rich fantasy, and it may create discomfort in the relationship when the partner (specially male) is a heavy porn user.
Using porn is very personal because it involves a lot of sexual fantasy, it could be hard to share with others, friends or partner, except the description of body figure and look. So when the female partner doesn't share the usage of porn, it's more likely to form different negative emotions, such as jealousy, hate, disgust, etc.

The counter argument is some may think using porn may not affect a relationship badly. Of cause it could happen if the female partner sees: (1) him using porn is his personal decision thing, (2) sees porn has harmless reading or entertainment, (3) never compares herself and the girls in porn. These factors reflect the female partner is more self-contain and confident, in their relationship, their boundary is clear. Usually, the couple can be more flexible and acceptance to each other's decision/behaviour. To be aware, there's no one kind of relationship better than the other. It depends on your preference and see does it match your situation.

Another common argument is porn access by teens and kids. Some adults share that reading and sharing sex information about sex from porn among peers was their first sex education. But some parents would worry about their children reach porn too soon and make it like a habit.
Of cause, usually parents would not expect their children would turn into a sex criminal anyway! How would they encourage their children use porn properly to prevent being a raper?!! That doesn't make sense even though that's a proved relationship between low rape rate and high usage of porn!
That would be interesting to see more study about how's the view different between mother and father towards their son and daughter about using pornography!

 
 
Best Regards,
Lilac
....
Porn and Rape: The Debate Continues by Freakonomics

The question of whether the rise of Internet pornography has reduced incidents of rape is nothing new, and something we've covered before. Back in 2006, Levitt expressed skepticism over research done by one of his former students that suggests a link, writing at the time:
The kind of variation in the data that gives the result is that states that are quicker to adopt the internet saw bigger declines in rape. He then does a nice thing in the paper, going beyond just this one prediction to test other hypotheses, like do crimes other than rape fall with the internet (he says no) and does other sexual behavior change with the internet (he says yes). The concern is always, with this kind of approach, that there are other factors that might be driving both the adoption of the internet and the decline in rape. The challenge to those who want to refute Todd Kendall's argument is to identify those variables. The challenge for Todd is to find other kinds of "natural experiments" that support his hypothesis.
Now comes an article in the current issue of Scientific American Mind, which posits that for "most people, pornography has no negative effects—and it may even deter sexual violence." The article, titled "The Sunny Side of Smut," is by Melinda Wenner Moyer, a science writer. Here's a full version of the piece, via Moyer's website. Though an interesting read, the article adds no new empirical evidence to the subject, and relies heavily on the data showing that rape decreased faster in states that got the Internet quicker. As Levitt pointed out, that's not enough to go on. Moyer's article is more of a tour through a handful of studies (and questionnaires) that look at the effects porn has on our behavior and views toward the opposite sex. Here's a summary of the article from Scientific American Mind editor Ingrid Wickelgren, who is rightly skeptical:
But Wenner's story goes beyond saying porn is safe. It suggests that it might actually be beneficial. I am not sure I buy this, but some coincidences worth mentioning back up this view. First, as access to Internet pornography grew in this country, rates of rapes and sexual assault went in the opposite direction. Those stats are at their lowest levels since the 1960s. And something similar happened in Japan, China and Denmark. Along those lines, the U.S. states in which rapes rose by 53 percent had the least Internet access between 1980 and 2000—and so the least access to Internet porn. States with the most access saw a 27 percent drop in reported rapes. These opposing trends don't prove anything. It could be that they are unrelated to each other or that a third factor underlies both. But it makes you wonder.
If porn somehow reduces rape, why would that be? Wenner suggests that pornography may be a safe outlet for deviance. Exposure to it correlates with lower levels of sexual repression, experts say. And people seeking treatment in clinics for sex offenders commonly say that it helps them keep their abnormal sexuality in their minds. Otherwise, maybe these folks, and others, might have been contributing to those rape stats. I don't really know, but that's the idea.
Relationship-wise, watching porn could have drawbacks. Guys, if you overindulge and advertise it, you are unlikely to score points with your wife or girlfriend. In a study of female partners of heavy porn users, 42 percent said it made them feel insecure; 39 percent said it had a negative impact on their relationship and 32 percent said it negatively affected their lovemaking.
The prolific rise of Internet pornography over the last 15 years certainly represents a change from the past, and has surely had consequences for our behavior and attitudes. Whether we'll ever have reliable empirical evidence to study its effect on violent sexual crime is unclear. But one thing is sure, it makes for an interesting debate.
 

Something more about Lilac...

Hong Kong
I think we should have our way to enjoy life, We should be able to make our life more colourful! “We are similar, but we are so different!” We have our preference of colour and how we use it! Our intimate relationship, Some say, it's complicated and hard to reach! It’s true, but we can find a way to manage it and enjoy it!