What to do when your spouse is over stressed?

Symptoms of stress are sleepless night and feeling tired during the daytime, having more complaints- workwise or anything which would sound minor when you first heard it.

You may hear the same or similar complaint more often, but it seems hard to find a simple solution. Spend your time to listen, no need to judge or provide solution. Being there is what they need.
The way he/she speaks to you may change, such as showing less patient, less sense of humour.

Sometimes, when he/she tries to explain more to make things clear, you can hear the patient is not there anymore. And also, you may realise that he/she is more reactive to your words or attitudes, for example, being very defensive which won't happen so often before. But don't blame yourself, it's the stress affecting the relationship. We may tend to behave/think differently when we're under stress. So, what can we do?

For sure, you can't handle the stress for him/her, but, definitely you can make things go better instead of worst.

1. Don't take it personal: it's the stress affect the behaviours.

2. Being there: listen without judgement, unless comments are requested.

3. Care: usually people is over stressed, they may not care about daily things like meals, clothes, etc. Little help like arranging a dinner, washing the clothes. They may not have a mood to appreciate at the moment, but they will know.

4. Maintain the sex life: it can bring 'happy hormones' to our body, and helps to maintain the intimate bonding. But it doesn't have to be intercourse, love stroke, pad, hugs, kisses would work as well. Choose ones which suit you most.

5. Encourage to extend the network of support: you would be very resourceful, but you don't have to do everything. Encourage he/she to contact their friends, expand the social life to gain more supportive energy!

6. Hope: believe things will go better, and you could make things better!

Lilac Kamiya