親密關係 n 性 心理諮詢

Intimacy & Sex can become very complicated when they tangle with unmatched expectation!
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Don't let it destroy your relationship, your self-esteem and others. This blog is also welcome same-sex couple.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

虐偶個案 男受害人倍增

Physical abuse and psychological abuse are very common in domestic violence, but usually physical abuse can be easier to be identified by professional, such as police, teacher and social worker. And usually the argument begins from both sides, unless one part is really crazy and out of control. So, early identify for high risk partner is important, and usually the symptoms like endless fights (either verbally or cold-war). But it would be mixed up with disagreement sometimes for some people. As an adult, we should have a capacity to listen to different perspective from other people, fighting is not a very useful way to convinced others.

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虐偶個案 男受害人倍增
(星島)2010年10月27日 星期三 05:30
(綜合報道)

(星島日報 報道)贏咗場交,輸咗個家!政府宣傳片標籤家暴多由男性挑起。不過,社署 去年新接獲的四千八百多宗虐偶個案,有近八百名受害人為男性,比○四年的倍增。社署相信,新來港婦女不明白香港經濟情況,不如內地正值經濟騰飛,認定丈夫懶惰才長期失業,常借故嘲諷他收入少,甚至加以掌摑。

  記者:楊耀登

  去年社署共接獲四千八百○七宗虐偶新個案,當中七百九十五宗個案受害人是男性,佔總數約一成六,比○四年的三百八十一人,增加接近一倍;其中,丈夫被妻子虐打個案共六百三十一宗,佔總數達一成三,比○四年的三百四十六宗同樣升近一倍。

  經濟逆轉 失業後難搵工

  社署社會工作主任(施虐者輔導計畫)史文正指,中港婚姻家庭較容易因經濟問題,引發衝突,「她們(新來港婦女)不知道香港經濟已經過了最高位,以為丈夫可以像內地的爸爸或哥哥般賺很多錢,不明白五十歲以上的男人失業後很難再找到工作,覺得丈夫懶,不願工作,以為鞭策一下,便可以解決問題。」

  住屋問題亦成為中港婚姻家庭摩擦的誘因,他說:「在內地住一百平方米的屋很平常,來到香港,可能四個人住三十平方米的屋便適應不到。」

  從事三行的黎先生早年在內地娶妻,育有一子一女,其後妻子來港與丈夫團聚,一家四口同住三百多呎公屋單位。因女兒步入青春期,黎太要求換一個大單位,惜黎先生月入只有七千多元,無力支付私樓租金,夫妻倆自此經常爭吵。

  搶報紙挑釁 再掌摑丈夫

  有時候,黎先生下班回家後會喝啤酒,黎太不想孩子模仿,即搶走啤酒,不許他喝;當黎太想與丈夫傾心事,不理會他正在讀報或玩電腦,一手搶走報紙或拔掉插頭。這種種挑釁行為,令他們日吵夜吵,黎太激動時,甚至出手掌摑丈夫,對方起初打不還手。

  不過,後期黎先生再受不了太太的挑釁,摑了太太一記耳光,結果對方報警,幸最後和氣收場。

  其後,社署派員輔導黎氏一家,黎太更參加了施虐者輔導計畫中的女性小組,學習溝通方法、處理情緒和衝突的技巧。現在,黎先生每天都會抽空與妻聊天,黎太亦不會再搶報紙及啤酒來挑釁丈夫。

  史文正提醒,妻子和丈夫爭執時若出手掌摑對方,會令丈夫情緒一發不可收拾,「太太不明白用少少的暴力,會刺激到男士用更大的暴力還擊。」他認為,家庭衝突源於缺乏溝通,「可能以前所有問題都是靠錢來解決,大家都不去正視,現在經濟逆轉,舊方法再行不通,自然發生衝突。」

  社署在半年前推出施虐者輔導計畫的女性小組,專門輔導女性施虐者,現已有十二人完成輔導。

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Something more about Lilac...

Hong Kong
I think we should have our way to enjoy life, We should be able to make our life more colourful! “We are similar, but we are so different!” We have our preference of colour and how we use it! Our intimate relationship, Some say, it's complicated and hard to reach! It’s true, but we can find a way to manage it and enjoy it!