During the counselling, the well-meaning counsellor would like to help the client achieve a different perspective so that the client is able to make change and improve the quality of life. In other words, to make the problem disappear. However, the well-meaning counsellor has an eagre to change the client and he/she may challenge the client too soon before they build up trust and the client would complain the counsellor doesn’t understand him/her or the counsellor has no empathy.
If the well-meaning counsellor could do one more step before challenging the client, then it would help the client much more effectively. Understanding the client with proper questions is very important here, the question can’t be too dumb or too much but the client would feel comfortable to answer. As a counsellor, you can notice it by how much information the client offers in reply. As a client, you can notice it by how much you want to avoid the question.
The patient counsellor will understand more about the client’s situation: How does he/she get stuck? What are the worries or limitations he/she is facing? etc.
If you are the counsellor, then you would be glad that you didn’t ask the challenging questions too soon because you now know more about the client. If you are the client, then you would feel comfortable to accept the challenging questions because you know the counsellor understood you and he/she is asking the questions for your benefit.
So that the well-meaning counsellor would become a well-meaning counsellor with better skill.
If the well-meaning counsellor could do one more step before challenging the client, then it would help the client much more effectively. Understanding the client with proper questions is very important here, the question can’t be too dumb or too much but the client would feel comfortable to answer. As a counsellor, you can notice it by how much information the client offers in reply. As a client, you can notice it by how much you want to avoid the question.
The patient counsellor will understand more about the client’s situation: How does he/she get stuck? What are the worries or limitations he/she is facing? etc.
If you are the counsellor, then you would be glad that you didn’t ask the challenging questions too soon because you now know more about the client. If you are the client, then you would feel comfortable to accept the challenging questions because you know the counsellor understood you and he/she is asking the questions for your benefit.
So that the well-meaning counsellor would become a well-meaning counsellor with better skill.
Picture came from: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mly0491l.jpg
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